At my most recent appointment over spring break, I was told that I was due for some scans. I have been feeling fatigued lately, but I figured it was just a result of our busy schedules. But for added reassurance, Dr. Ein-Gal ordered a CT scan of the chest, abdomen and pelvis. She also ordered a pelvic ultrasound. The results show that I have no evidence of metastatic disease (cancer), which is awesome. However, they did show that I have some liver cysts and hemangioma, as well as a uterine fibroid. The more concerning result is I have chronic interstitial disease and fibrosis with pleural thickening of the left lung, as a result of radiation.
In sum, doing radiation sucks! I basically have chronic lung burn, and it can't ever get better. It means I have some difficulty breathing, but that doesn't hold me back. I did a Tough Mudder last year and another 5K this month. I surfed in Costa Rica last year and wakeboarded and wakesurfed today in the Canyon Lake Wakeboard Club's competition. Most people who meet me have no clue I'm a cancer survivor. It's a badge I wear proudly some days, but it is also a badge I resent most days.
Sometimes I get cramps in my chest that are painful. Sometimes I can't move my neck because it is tight. Sometimes I get sad that I don't have breasts. Sometimes I get angry that my body did this to me.
At the Relay for Life today I was reminded that we don't all win the fight and I should be grateful that I can say I've been a survivor since 2011. I will continue to strive to be a positive influence to those around me and to provide hope for those diagnosed in the future.