The itch on my stomach has been going on since August. I went in September 1st to the dermatologist. She gave me an anti-itch cream. The cream was supposed to make it go away, but it hasn't gone away. I went in to see a GP on September 28th because I was still so uncomfortable, and he said it's just nerve damage and prescribed me ibuprofen. At my wits end, I went in to see Dr. Link on October 12th and he said he would order a CT of my chest. I finally got it November 1st. The burning from the iodine is never fun, but at least it's a quick process and the staff made it a comfortable experience. Dr. Link said he sees thickening of my lung on my upper left, which is localized scarring or fibrosis usually due to radiation. This is not new. The liver spot, which he assumes is a cyst, is bigger than it was before so he's going to order an MRI. The CT shows no cancer; the blood tests don't show cancer. He is worried about my pain so he's ordering the MRI for precaution, but he doesn't think it's anything more than a cyst that has grown. He is supposing I may have onset fibromyalgia that was triggered by radiation therapy. Who knows. I am thankful for no signs of cancer, but wish I had some more answers for my pain.
November 1st: I am thankful for the affable staff at Orange Advanced Imaging, and the ability to make a Sunday appointment.
November 2nd: I am thankful Dr. Link took the time to go over CT results with me over the phone today to give me reassurance that it's not cancer. I am thankful he has not given up trying to find answers for my pain, and continues to order tests. He says he will refer me to another specialist if necessary.
November 3rd: I am thankful for my supportive cheer parents, and even for those who are not. They help me learn how to have thick skin.
November 4th: I am thankful for my English department. We may be a bit quirky, but that's what makes us great.
November 5th: I am thankful for having a great coaching staff for my cheer team this year. It helps me so much to be able to relinquish some of my responsibilities.
November 6th: I am thankful to be a teacher. I get the opportunity to not only educate people, but watch them grow. I love going to the athletic events and seeing my people out there.
November 7th: I am thankful for friends. All of them. Friends make me happy.
November 8th: I am thankful that my husband plays hockey and my girls get to see their parent being an active adult. I love that they get to cheer him on.
November 9th: I'm thankful for my housekeeper. Yeah, I said it. I don't want to clean toilets.
November 10th: I'm thankful for my husband who comes home and works hard every day on our backyard and home. I wish I had the ability to sleep as little as he does and work as hard as he does. He's awesome. I love him so much. He is my rock. I cannot imagine going through life without him.
November 11th: I'm thankful for a relaxing day off.
November 12th: I'm thankful Jenna is in volleyball. She is doing so great. I'm also thankful that we studied her spelling bee words on the way to volleyball. This girl is amazing.
November 13th: I'm thankful for students like Jason. Jason had bone cancer as a child. He stayed after class today to tell me he's scared of recurrence. He said sometimes he feels angry, and asked me if that's normal. He doesn't want to talk to his mom about these feelings because he doesn't want to make her worry. I completely understand what that's like. I'm so thankful that he felt that he could open up to me. We cried together and shared in our pain. We hugged. He said he felt a lot better. It was awesome. I loved being able to show someone that I'm vulnerable and weak; rather than feeling like I let him down, I let him know that it's okay. People put a lot of pressure on cancer survivors to be models of courage. But the truth is, we are scared, sad, and angry.
November 14th: I'm thankful for weekends.
November 15th: I'm thankful my daughters have friends and have become such well-rounded individuals.
November 16th: I'm thankful for meatless Mondays with my friends as it is a nice tradition to make sure we incorporate friends into our lives more than on holidays and special occasions.
November 17th: I'm thankful for my daughters' elementary school. The teachers, staff, and parents there make me so proud. I love it there.
November 18th: I'm thankful for minimum days.
November 19th: I'm thankful for the MRI of my liver I received today. The girl that helped me was being trained, and it was reassuring to know a lot of people out there are driven to work in the medical field. I know I wouldn't want to.
November 20th: I'm thankful for living in Canyon Lake. It's such a great place to raise my family. I never thought we would be able to afford to live in such a great place. I'm so happy here.
November 21st: I'm thankful that at age 34 and after having battled cancer, I still have the strength to rock climb at Rock Fitness and go all the way to the top. I also did the slackline, without any fear. I never used to be this brave. I guess once you've faced death for real, everything else seems a little less scary.
November 22nd: I'm thankful for second chances, and being able to learn as I grow. I keep growing and learning from my mistakes, and that's such a good thing.
November 23rd: I'm thankful for my family. My dad has always been such a supporter, and my step mom is so loving. I am truly blessed with a great support from them and I couldn't be more appreciative.
November 24th: I'm thankful for not following in my mom's footsteps and being able to learn from her mistakes. I'm also thankful for patience. I have learned so much from her. I'm thankful she's off of her trach and ventilator and being moved to a new convalescent home today. She's proving that willpower is very strong.
November 25: Thankful for the phone call from the nurse at Dr. Link's today saying I have nothing abnormal shown on my MRI. I just wish I could say I also felt like there was nothing abnormal happening, but very thankful I do not have cancer.
November 26: Thankful there was hardly any traffic traveling to both my dad's and my in law's for Thanksgiving. I was sad we didn't get to host this year, but I'm so happy I let that all go and just enjoyed allowing others to do all of the work. Sometimes I need to realize how lucky we are to have so many options at Thanksgiving when so many people have none.
November 27: I'm so thankful for my fun-loving and sweet Bria. She makes our family complete. I love her so much.
November 28: I am thankful for my life.
November 29: I am thankful for my health.
November 30: I am thankful for the opportunity to reflect.