The kids wanted me to get them ready for school, not their uncle. It has been hard on them, I think, to get used to all of the change in schedule. The baby wants me to hold her, but I can barely hold myself up. I have been in a fog all day. Literally my head just feels like it's in a vice, and I can't even keep a single thought together. I am moving very slowly. I had stomach pain, nausea, and dizziness- even when I was laying down. I took naps to hide from the pain. I wish I could just sleep through the next few months. My body is numb, my neck and throat are sore. My oldest daughter is starting to sense something is wrong. I asked her if she was mad at me, and she said "of course not mama, I love you" and hugged me. I feel so fragile.
My dad's wife called the oncology nurse and she said all of my symptoms are "normal." Even my shortness of breath and cheek flushing are probably due to the steroids (or something like that.) She also said that my biopsy already came back from the right breast. It's a benign mass of some sort, nothing to worry about. Some good news in an otherwise really yucky day. Honestly, I kinda forgot that biopsy even happened.
My brother got me a heating pad for my stomach and kept me well fed. I hope today is the worst of it, and I can start to feel better. Everybody is trying to talk me into taking an Ativan to sleep tonight (for anxiety and nausea). I feel like my body has to be in shock. I never take any kind of medication and the poison going through me is more than ever.